Saturday, November 29, 2014

History In The Making: Leafa Upset Alabama In Alabama

History In The Making: Leafa Upset Alabama In Alabama

By Graeme Wong
Spirit News
August 28. 2072

Back in 2011, the University of Alabama Crimson Tide became just the second team to lose to the Mitakihara Magi. Many of the students who witnessed that event back then and who are still alive today were on hand as old boosters to witness an even more shocking result that is sure to be talked about for years. Alabama, ranked No. 1 in the country, became the first-ever collegiate American football team to lose to a team...from Australia.

The Leafa College Spirit demolished the Crimson Tide 135-37 at Bryant Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa, Ala. Using a balanced spread option attack combined with the trademark 4-3 multiple defense used at Mitakihara, the Spirit stunned the Tide with superior speed and execution, the likes of which have not been seen on either side of the Pacific Rim. When the final whistle blew, the only fans remaining were the traveling support from Canberra and Queanbeyan.

"I can't believe it," said Al Ross, a member of the Alabama Class of 2015 and a financier/full-time womanizer. "How is it that Australia knows how to play our game so damn well? The Committee [on Infractions] needs to take a VIP jet and head Down Under to investigate; they shouldn't be this good! They must be cheatin' or something; this was no exhibition, they whooped us silly!"

"I am never going to live this down," said Dr. Amanda Huggenkiss, a biology professor at UAT. "Australia is now good at our style of football. Australia. They could have stuck to rugby, or that code that no one else in the world plays, but they chose to stick our faces in the mud, like Mitakihara always does. Leafa is essentially Madoka's little sister because they are part of the same system. This is just sick. I will never live this down."

"How am I gonna get some sleep after this?" asked Alabama alumnus Mordecai Olazabal '31. "We got crushed by a team from Australia, and even worse, this wasn't an exhibition! Ohio State better be careful because they're heading down there next week and this team might be even more dangerous than Mitakihara. This is worse than losing to Mitakihara. This is worse than death!"

After the game, the fans and players got hyped up and chanted "Who Do We Sing For?", "Leafa Leafa Leafa!" and the fight song. The Spirit players, comprised mostly of freshmen and few sophomores, were in tears of joy, hugging each other and even carrying head coach Dan Harding off the field. He also received his first-ever Gatorade bath and was drenched in lime green Gatorade.

"Oh man, I am so...proud of the boys, they did it, they got their first win," said Coach Harding after the match. "We wanted to shock the world and let them know that Australia can also play gridiron, too. We did pretty good on offense and defense and put on a show for everyone. Alabama are a great side and will have a great season. But we had a point to prove and we got it done."

"Best day of my life!" exclaimed quarterback Cooper Kanie, who ran for 313 yards and passed for 352 more yards while scoring nine total touchdowns on offense. "I can't believe it! We can actually win against the best America has to offer. We're gonna enjoy this victory then fly home to get ready for next week. What a weekend!"

"We were in a zone," said middle linebacker Roy Hanamura, who had 12 tackles and two interceptions. "And when we're in a zone, it's game on. Alabama are a good team, but we like to face good teams and prove that we can play. We think Ohio State will be in for a surprise but we won't give away our secrets."

Leafa improve to 1-0 on the year. They will face the Ohio State Buckeyes of Columbus, Ohio next week in the home opener at Yunipingu Field. Tickets for the match are sold out and the match is standing room only. The game will be broadcast on radio and online on 5AO.