Friday, January 30, 2015

"Andy From Lara" Will Join Spirit Gridiron In '73

Aika Tsube and Souji Mitsuka, the parents of future Leafa Spirit FB Andrew Mitsuka.

"Andy From Lara" Will Join Spirit Gridiron in '73

By Graeme Wong
Spirit News
October 17, 2072

Halfback Andrew Shinji Mitsuka is a small scatback at 5'9", 196 lbs. However, this speedy running back from Lara, Victoria is capable of being a strong blocker and will be most likely used as a fullback next season for Dan Harding's Leafa College Spirit Gridiron team. One visit and a little elbow grease by Coach Harding was all it took for the son of Souji "Tail Red" Mitsuka and Aika "Tail Blue" Tsube to be convinced that Leafa was the only option.

"Coach Harding came and paid a visit and told me to head over to the capital to watch a game of gridiron," said Mitsuka via phone interview. "I was able to visit early and I was impressed by the fitness, the play, the execution of all the guys. These mates are really good at what they do, and so I decided to go ahead and commit to the Spirit for Season 2073.

"I was born in Tokyo, Japan to a couple of middle-class parents. My father, Souji, has a passion for women with twin tails, or bunches, and he's capable of turning into a twin-tailed woman herself. When I was 10, Dad demonstrated, and as I result, I am proud to say that I have a dad and a mum, or a mum and a mum. Speaking of which, my mum, Aika Tsube, earned a black belt in karate at a young age and is a skilled fighter. I inherited her toughness and confident attitude.

"I also have a mother-in-law, Anko Isuna, who is, for all intents and purposes a godmother to me because she is very wise, very academic and often tutored me when I moved to Australia when I was three. She has a daughter, Aisa Shigure, who is, ironically, the reincarnation of the Japanese World War II ship of the same name. I just got married to her over the winter, which is why Anko is my mother-in-law. I prefer to call her Auntie.

Anko Isuna (left), the mother-in-law of Andrew Mitsuka, with her now brother-in-law Souji.

Aisa Shigure, Andrew Mitsuka's wife.

"When I first started getting involved in sports, I first thought about playing AFL for a living. My parents are Geelong fans, I'm a Geelong supporter, but Auntie and Aisa are Richmond supporters. So when those two meet, it's always fun banter over sausage sizzles, chips, meat pies and burgers with beetroot. My mates at Lara Secondary College, they say, 'Ey look mates, it's Andy from Lara! Hey Andy from Lara, wanna play footy?' Then I oblige. I'm a jack of all trades but I prefer to play a midfield position. However, as time went on I'm too short to really be considering playing the game of footy for a living. At the same time, whenever there was a game at Kardinia Park involving the Cats, me, Mum and Dad went out to watch it and ofter the Cats would get it done.

"I am looking forward to finishing my time at Lara Secondary and I find it strange that no one realizes I got a dad that can turn into a mum and I got a mum that treats my dad like a younger brother. But I really look up to my mum a lot as well as Auntie because I get inspired to do well in school. I hope I can perform and help build the foundation for a lot of good things at Leafa.

"I do have an not-too-well-kept secret: I also like twin tailed girls and I can also change into a woman too. I demonstrated this to my mates on the gridiron club. I turn into a really big-breasted cheerleader with ideal proportions and long green twin tails. I said, "from now on boys, you will call me Andrea, my Japanese name will be Shuko, and I shall be known as Tail Green!" They got a good laugh out of that as I returned back to my normal form. We've yet to lose in our league. I bless the day I was a part of the Lara Varsity Blues, the greatest juniors gridiron club in all of Geelong. Soon, people will know who 'Andy from Lara' is, and I will make Mum, Dad, Auntie and my wife Aisa proud. I'm feelin' it."