Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Tove Lo Lives On...As A Gridiron Up-And-Comer

Tove Lo Lives On...As A Gridiron Up-And-Comer

By Graeme Wong
Spirit News
November 1, 2072

Steven Tove Lo Shen Dzu is a 7'5", 252-lb defensive end from Wollongong, NSW. His Chinese name is Lo Shen Dzu, named after the 2,000-lb plus god pig whose blood full of lead and heavy metals flows down the streets of a small town in Taiwan every year. However, his English name, Steven Tove Lo, is named after his great-grandmother on his mother's side, Ebba Nilsson, also known as Tove Lo. However, he pronounces the name differently, for starters.

Ebba Tove Elsa "Tove Lo" Nilsson, 
the great-grandmother of Steven Tove Lo Shen Dzu on his mother's side.

"I pronounce Tove like the word cove instead of toh-veh," said Lo after practice with the local gridiron club at Illawarra Sports High School. "It's deliberately ironic because my team in the A-League is not Sydney FC. [The Cove is Sydney FC's primary supporters' group.] I sing for [Western Sydney\ Wanderers like I will sing for Leafa next year.

Amane Suou, the grandmother of Steven Tove Lo Shen Dzu on his father's side.

"I am part Swedish, part Japanese, part Chinese and part Australian. I am fluent in four different languages: Swedish, Japanese, Chinese and English, although English is my main tongue. My teammates have a nickname for me: 'Habits,' named after the famous song by my great-grandmother, who is an accomplished singer-songwriter. I tick all the boxes because in my first year, I did eat dinners in my bathtub, went to sex clubs with fake IDS watching freaky people get it on, got home and got the munchies, ate a box of Twinkies before throwing up one hour later because I am lactose-intolerant, slept in on weekends when I wasn't at school, pick-up potential baby mommas older than me at the playground and sleeping with them with consent because of my upbringing and social status, and I do get restless at times.

Eiko Mamiya, Steven Lo's newly-married wife. A hotel/restaurant management major.

"That was until I decided to join the American Football Club at Illawarra Sports High. I was destined to join the rugby league team as a prop and when they decided to open up this new team, I joined and became the club's leading tackler. But after I told them what I had done for one year, they called me 'Habits." I dropped a lot of pounds from all the bad habits I put in and now I'm as strong as an Ox and slim like Jim {Steven's cousin on his mother's side, thrice removed).

"I am excited about being a part of the Leafa Spirit because there's been some great things happening in Canberra. To lead the country in this sport from the nation's capital is an experience I am looking forward to, and I bet all my other mates are as well. I want to make Eiko proud to, because she is expecting a newly born set of twins in two months and I have to do the cooking now because she usually does it and she can't because of the babies on the way. Cooking great food is also a habit of mine that I don't plan to break any time soon because my wife won't let me let it die."