Thursday, March 19, 2015

"The Ladies Who Lunch": Roy Hanamura Bemoans The Privileges Of Leafa Gridiron's Wives

"The Ladies Who Lunch": Roy Hanamura Bemoans The Privileges Of Leafa Gridiron's Wives

By Eruna Ichinomiya
Spirit News
November 14, 2074

Trudging along with the rest of his compatriots to the campus coop at the newly-renamed Leafa Student Union, Leafa Spirit Gridiron middle linebacker Roy Hanamura walks with his backpace, a book of formations and tactics in his hand...and a wallet full of meal-tickets. Today's special: curry with brown rice, tossed greens and a protein shake made with organic yogurt.

These days, Hanamura, a former addict to comfort rood and high-carbohydrate fast food, is eating foods that are high in protein, low in carbs, build muscle mass, lower body fat composition...and feature a massive vitamin and mineral profile.

"As a matter of fact, the food that we players eat fills us up better than the type of fare we used to eat back in secondary school," Hanamura explained, tucking into his curry. "We have a say in what we choose to have for our meals, but they are predetermined by a team of sports nutritionists and scientists that really should be behind bars because I think some of them got away with some scandals in the AFL and NRL.

"You know, with these supplement scandals popping everywhere, you just can't trust people with the promises of better nutrition to yield improved performance. But Dr. Toyokawa, our team doctor, selected these people and so we have to trust them. The diet that we have actually improves our stats, and we don't cheat by ingesting caffeine or taurine, so I suppose it's working and we should keep at it.

"But as for our wives, they are getting the food we want. I saw Yomi (Mutsuki), Fubuki (Satomi), and Akari (Yuudachi) munch on Pizza Hut at the dorms. Graham (Ryugazaki), Aiden (Satomi) and Jackson (Kaburaki) were full of jelly in their belly. They were so jealous of who they call 'the ladies who lunch,' which is an old proverb/meme predating our time by a country mile so much that it's ancient.

"The ladies who of my wishes is that one day, when our player career is over, we can all have one massive Pizza Hut party and maybe invite the neighbours over for some afters. I don't think it should be a crime for us to let our hair down for a bit after a momentous career-defining victory. I think after the last game of our careers as Spirit players we will go down as the Boys Who Brunch Outside Sunday, or the BoWBOS."

After some thought... "Or maybe not. We'll stick to what our nutritionist expert panel gives us. After all, to be a champion, you have to eat like one, and us mates, we're on our way. We'll let our ladies have their lunch. And that's a terrible acronym, too."