Friday, November 13, 2015

The New First-Year Clique: Hanayamata Team READY!

The New First-Year Clique: Hanayamata Team READY!

By Reiko Arisugawa-Bell
The Spirit News
January 20, 2077

Wide receiver Michael Farriss, strong safety David Satoshi Tsukamoto, halfback Ace Kurogane, wideout Morgan Kusanagi and wideout Anthony Kagurazaka form the Hanayamata Team. They are the husbands of Hana Farriss (former Hana N Fountainstand), Naru Tsukamoto (former Naru Sekiya), Yaya Kurogane (former Yaya Sasame), Mazie Kusanagi (former Machi Tokiwa) and Tammy N. Kagurazaka (former Tami Nishimikado), respectively, all who are experts in yosakoi dancing but who are now majoring in liberal studies as first-year students at Leafa College.

The five recruits, all of whom are now transitioning into life at the school with their married partners, often banter as to who has the better missus among them, often with hilarious results. As a rule, it's generally Michael's wife that takes the piss because she's a confirmed polyglot, speaking English, Japanese, Korean, Chinese and French.

Hana Farriss, the wife of Michael Farriss.

"I don't know why but Hanabelle [Michael's personal name for Hana] is picked on every time, and strangely she doesn't mind it one bit," said Farriss. "She's proud to know that she's married into some really good musical talent on my side so it goes well with her night dancing. I'm married to a fairy, so I guess I get the best luck of the team and I'll take it."

Shuuichi Tsukamoto and Kumiko Oumae, the parents of Dave Tsukamoto.

Tsukamoto's father is Shuuichi Tsukamoto, co-Director of Bands at Leafa College with his mother, Kumiko Oumae. They gave the green light to have Naru marry Dave on the first day they met. Even though Dave himself is a skilled trumpeter and plays the hook from Capital Cities' "Safe and Sound" in his sleep, he turned aside a musical career for that of a gridiron king.

Naru Tsukamoto, the wife of Dave Tsukamoto.

"Mom and Dad, they didn't need to hear my wife out, they just said, 'Do what you want and never regret anything,'" Dave said via phone. "And Dad said, 'Naru, take care of my son. He'll make you feel like a queen, but you need to do your part to make your lives happy and enriching. Me and Kumiko, we learned that the hard way, but we made it work and you can do the same. It's all up to you now.' That's what Dad said.

"Naru and I, we take the initiative to turn dreams into reality. We don't even think about it because when we're in bed together, we can see what we have to do before we even actually do it. We have a long road ahead of us so I hope my wife and all of my mates do their part to make Leafa proud. This year, we go all in."

Mazie Kusanagi, the wife of Morgan Kusanagi.

Kusanagi is the grandson of Izumo Kusanagi and is a computer science major, like Mazie, who is taking up the unique challenge of double-majoring at Leafa. Kusanagi prefers to run block but is unafraid to take a stand and make catches here and there.

"Just give me an assignment, a play, a system and I'll do my best to run it correctly," said Kusanagi. "At my old team, the coach allowed me to take responsibility in taking what the defense gave me. I got good legs, good speed and vision and I think I can be of use to the team."

No one needs to question the virility and carnal desires of Ace, who has it in his genes from his parents, bona fide perverted sexaholics in their own right. So when he married the former Yaya Sasame, he saw a bit of his mother when they both started living together as a habit.

Yaya Kurogane, the wife of Ace Kurogane.

"I swear to God, it's true: my wife looks like my mum," said Kurogane via phone interview from his coed dorm bedroom off campus, where Yaya was pleasuring his family jewels incessantly. "Yaya's behind me every step of the way and was excited to be with me at Leafa. She's good friends with my mum and she believes my mum's gonna be a great granny. I thought, why not? Maybe if it's a daughter, she'll grow up to be as lewd and naughty as all of us; it wouldn't hurt!"

Tammy Kagurazaka, the wife of Anthony Kagurazaka.

After trying a bottle of Mick's Malta for the first time, Tammy decided to marry Anthony last year and drop her maiden name. A business administration major, Tammy is committed to helping her husband continue operations of the multibillion dollar Malthouse Brewery that made wheat soda and kvass the drinks of health-conscious sports fans across Australia and New Zealand.

"She's all in it to make Malthouse a winner across the land," said Kagurazaka. "She loves the taste of it and can't get enough of it, to the fact that there are some addicting chemicals in it. She's an advocate of moderation and is against these beverages being consumed to excess, like how the Neds of Scotland go un-Flanders on Buckfast [Tonic Wine]. We are developing a rechargeable five-year plan for Malthouse but we'll develop it over time with my dad's assistance over at Leafa."